Remember your MIL on Mother's Day

If you feel like cancelling Mother's Day because you have to invite your MIL (mother in law) for a celebratory lunch, here are 5 reasons to feel grateful to her:

• She is your partner's mother...
  

... What? Er, I mean, pardon? He's been driving you up the wall lately? Then you and his mother probably have something in common: putting up with his annoying habits.

• Your children have 25% of her DNA...

... Best to move on, at this point. Quickly.

• She is there when you need her. Sometimes too little, sometimes too much, but ultimately you can rely on her to help.
• To your kids, she is Nana or Grammy or Gran, and very much part of the family. Her existence provides the security net for them. They love her and she loves them, even if she's still learning to love you.
• OK, I'm sure there were 5 reasons. Honestly. Or maybe even 10 or 100. Feel free to provide your own one in the comments box below. 

And if you're thinking of buying a gift for your mother in law, have a look at the hilarious descriptions in Best Mother's Day Gifts For Your MIL.

Best Gifts For Mother's Day

Best Gifts For Mother's Day is not the most original topic for this time of the year. Ok, so slap me in the face with a wet fish, but I can't just pretend the occasion is happening.  (To see why, have a look at these hilarious reasons.)

Come Sunday morning, all the cafes will be booked out despite the recession, and mothers in countries as diverse as Australia, Malaysia and Denmark, will get wet kisses and burnt toast in bed.

And yes, we love both the wet kisses and the burnt toast, but what other great ideas can we dream up for Mother's Day? How about:

• me- time in bubble bath with a glass of bubbly
• your favourite perfume 
• a silk scarf
• books (how about "Not Becoming My Mother" by Ruth Reichl, LOL)
• DVDs
• a mug of hot chocolate in the afternoon
• oh, and forget store-bought chocolates - how about some creamy chocolate fudge made by the family (the mixture gets hot, so Dad needs to supervise).

And of course, Mother's Day wouldn't be complete without hand-made cards!

(For those of us who love lists and facts, the full list of countries celebrating Mother's Day on the 2nd Sunday in May is: United States, Anguilla, Aruba, Australia, Austria, Bahamas, Barbados,Bangladesh, Belgium, Belize, Bermuda, Bonaire, Brazil, Canada, Chile, China, Colombia, Cuba, Croatia, Curacao, Czech Republic, Denmark, Ecuador, Estonia, Finland, Germany, Greece, Grenada, Honduras, Hong Kong, Iceland, Italy, Jamaica, Japan, Latvia, Malta, Malaysia, the Netherlands, New Zealand, Peru, Philippines, Puerto Rico, Singapore, Slovakia, South Africa, Suriname, Switzerland, Taiwan, Trinidad and Tobago, Turkey, United States, Uruguay, Venezuela, Zimbabwe.)

499 money-saving tips

I love saving money almost as much I love spending it! What about you? If you want to read all money-saving 499 tips in one go, here is the link: 499 ways to save money.

But here are a few of my very favourite:

• Shop once a month for main grocery items (with a shopping list), this way the temptation for things you neither want or need is cut down. (Plus, you save time and petrol.)
  
• I always pack a bottle of water or drinks in drink bottles for kids. I refuse to pay $3 for a drink when you can get it for free. 
  
• Always ask for a discount on big purchases e.g.: TVs, microwaves, etc. Never pay the ticketed price on these items! Even some clothing stores can give discounts! The worse they can do is say no.
  
• Cook at home. (Click here for many great kid-friendly recipes.)
  
• Join the local toy library (and the local book library).
  
• Shop (and sell) at Kidspot Online Market. A great way to pick up bargains and to make a bit of cash on items you no longer want.

Car seats for older kids

(If you're a first-time parent, please have a look how to fit a car seat for your baby.)

Many of my 6-year old's school mates ride without car seats, but, even though she's tall for her age, we are reluctant to say goodbye to her sturdy full-size booster seat. She says it makes her look like a baby. We say it makes her safe.

Looking at a guide to car seats, I realise she may have a point. Most booster seats and booster cushions have a weight limit of 26kg, so she will outgrow them soon. And yet she's not tall enough to wear the sash seat belt (without a booster cushion, the sash goes right over her neck, and I can just imagine what would happen if I had to break suddenly). Fortunately, our own booster cushion takes kids up to 30kg....

Aha! Guess what I found in this article about car safety for children: 

A five-point child safety harness is recommended for children 14 – 32kg as standard car seat belts (which are designed for adult use) are safe to use until your child is a standing height of 148cm, a sitting height of 74cm and/or a weight of 37kg – this is the approximate size of an 11 year old.

Makes you think, doesn't it? 

Mum, I don't know what to wear!

Picture this: a rushed school morning, the first serious chill in the air, a 6-year old's wardrobe spilling over with clothes and her whinging voice yelling at me from the other end of the house: "Mum, I don't know what to wear!"

Ok, I know what I should have done. Gone over to her room, sat down to be level with her face and said tenderly yet firmly, "We don't yell in this house."

I didn't. Instead, I offered a choice of 4 skirts, 3 pantyhose, 3 pairs of socks, 4 long-sleeved tops and 2 jackets. Each item was greeted with, "No, Mum, I don't like it much. And I need long socks, because short socks make me look like a boy.... But not those long socks." 

Which, at least, is an improvement on last year's "I HATE THAT DRESS!!!!" 

Or was an improvement, until, after 20 minutes of fruitless negotiations and failure to meet halfway between fashion and keeping warm, I heard: "Mummy! You just don't love me!" From getting dressed to emotional blackmail in three easy steps. That had me at my computer in no time at all, surfing straight to:

• Social development of 6-9 year olds, 
• Tantrums in older kids, and
• Discipline dos and don'ts.

Another perfectly beautiful morning wasted fighting over something so trivial. 

Now, the 4-year old dresses without my help. True, he chucks the contents of his drawer onto the floor in order to find his favourite Thomas the Tank Engine T-shirt... the one with a brand-new hole... but once he's dressed, HE PUTS IT ALL BACK!!!

How could I have raised two such totally different children? Why did my soft-spined pandering work only 50%? Does my 6-year old need firmer borders or more love? Or simply a school with a school uniform, LOL?

Child-friendly Movies / Movies for Kids

(Ok, I admit it: too much TV is bad. Read about the pitfalls here and let’s get on with the story, deal? :-) )

In our household, we have a tradition: Friday night is movie-night. It’s when we... ok, ok, I admit it... it’s when we all eat in front of the TV. Friday night is when we climb down the stairs to the basement TV room, together with a picnic blanket, water supplies and four dinner plates. (What are the TV rules in your family?) 

When the kids were 2.5 and 4.5 years old, selecting a movie suitable for the whole family was rather tricky. The 2-year old wanted to watch Maisy. The 4-year old wanted My Little Pony. The two adults wanted anything except Maisy and My Little Pony. Over the years, the adults increased their list of exceptions by:

• Thomas the Tank Engine
• Barney (the Beetroot Blob)
• Dora
• Pooh Bear, the Disney version, including
• Lumpy.

In desperation, we turned to

• the Barbie movies (which can be watched once by a normal adult without hurting the TV... too much)
• the animated Flintstones
• The Jetsons
• Asterix
• but not Tintin (the 4-year old gobbled it up even though she didn’t understand it, but the 2-year old got bored and wandered off to watch Maisy), and
• (surprise!) The Princess Bride.

Of course, there were also the usual suspects:

• The Incredibles
• Monsters Inc
• Madagascar
• but not Finding Nemo, because of the upsetting beginning.

It’s easier now, two years later. The 2.5-year old is now 4.5. He cried during the volcano scene in Madagascar 2, not only when the hero got threatened, but also when the baddie fell in, but he can sit through Mamma Mia, Monsters vs Aliens and laugh his head off during The gods must be crazy.

Meanwhile, the 6-year old and I get to go on mother-daughter dates to see Confessions of a Shopaholic.

What kids’ movies can you recommend? We’re out of ideas for this Friday....

PS: I found a useful guide to movie ratings here.

Computers and Kids - New Facts

Kids and Computers is an old topic... or was an old topic until I read a certain research article about the implications of socialising on the Internet. It’s scary, so here’s the summary:

When you're a child, your online status depends on the number of friends you have on Bebo, MySpace andFacebook. It's a measure of popularity. At first glance, it seems innocuous. But is it?

First, there is the very real danger of letting your guard down because you “know this person from the Net”. (Image: Red Riding Hood meets Big Bad Wolf and he says: “Hi, I’m your friend on Facebook”....)

If you’re concerned at this point, read these handy online safety tips.

But wait, there’s more. Recent research suggests that our brains evolved to know no more than 150 people. That includes everybody! And yet most schools are twice the size, and we're not counting family friends or mates from swimming lessons. Add to that people your child will befriend online, and you can almost see their brain smoking....

Anyway, the article goes on to speculating about computers affecting the onset of puberty and emotional maturity and you can read it in full here.

So how much computer time is too much for our children? Here’s what the experts say. And if you reckon your child’s within the sane limits, here are the best websites for school children - just to keep them busy while you’re swallowing your Herbal Nerve Pills....

 

 

The books we read to our kids

Ok, I have a confession to make: I'm a bookworm. So it's hardly a surprise that, even before my daughter was born, she listened to her father's voice as he read Terry Pratchett to me while stroking my kicking tummy. While breastfeeding, she listened to Jane Auel's Earth's Children series... 

What? I knew it was important to start reading to your baby early! Plus, she was a slow drinker and I was bored without a book. (Find more suitable books for babies and children here.)

The first age-appropriate book she's ever heard (click here for Board Book Suggestions) was probably We're Going On A Bear Hunt, about a million times (even now, if somebody happens to utter "what a beautiful day", I automatically respond with "we're not scared"). Then came Slinky Malinki and Hairy Maclary, and before I knew it, she was 4 years old and we'd moved on to chapter books.

Meanwhile, her younger brother digested a steady diet of Maisy (shudder!), Spot, Barney, My Little Pony (!!!), Little Einsteins and Thomas the Tank Engine. He's going to school this year, so imagine my surprise when he picked up a Tellytubby book at the library (Tellytubbies are banned from our household) and demanded a read. And again. 

Perhaps letting him listen to Nelly The Monster Sitter (aimed at 10-12 year olds) had been a mistake, after all, but if I have a choice between reading

• "Laa-laa dance. Bye bye, Po" and 
• "What is it with Sundays? Before you know it, the Sun is gone, the Day's gone and your school homework deadlines are looming"
  

well, guess which one it's going to be.

Still, as they grow up, I'm beginning to see their independence manifest itself in their choice of books. The girl is reading "Tinkerbell and friends" now, alongside Asterix; while the boy is demanding "new stories" about anything, as long as they are something he hadn't heard before. Sigh. I'm not a Harry Potter fan, but I have no doubt that I'll be subjected to both the DVDs and the books before long.

(More links:

• Australian Classics - we love Mem Fox
  

and 

• Best Books for Children 
  

and

• Book Reviews for Kids)
  

Teaching your kids manners

How on earth do you teach your children manners in this day and age? I don't mean "please" and "thank you". Even "sorry" we have sussed.... well, sort of, taking into account that children aren't able to feel empathy until they're about 8 years old.

What I mean, though, goes beyond the three magical phrases that get you out of trouble and into the cookie jar. 

• I mean the ability to sit at the table through a meal and not spill your juice... on purpose. (Also see Teaching Kids Table Manners.)
  
• I mean not yelling at the kid brother who isn't doing our bidding.
• And, ok, I also mean the politically incorrect offering your bus seat, holding the door open and remembering that hitting girls is a no-no.

In a society where most teenagers think "courtesy" comes with "car" and means a free set of wheels (and who think the f-word is punctuation), how do you instill a set of old-fashioned values in your children?

My 6-year old used the f-word the other day. She had no clue what it meant and she clearly used the good old trick of swearing in order to get a reaction. But still, how do I get from here to 10 years from now when she'll be able to have a polite conversation at the dinner table?

I don't have the answers. Ok, I have one, but I don't like it, and I bet you won't think much of it, either. It's something to do with practicing consideration and good manners at home (though apparently it's ok to have 2 sets of table rules, one for home and one for going out) ...

... and modelling the desired behaviour yourself.

No more interrupting my husband, then. No more talking with my mouth full. No slouching and no elbows on the table. Oh, the sacrifices we make for our kids!

Chocolate Bunnies and Hot Cross Buns

Do miracles happen? You bet! The children are asleep, the kitchen's tidy and my brain can - for a change! - plan more than one day in advance. So what am I planning? Why, the Easter weekend, of course, which is why this is the second blog in a row about Easter. 

I remember the time when Easter would creep up on me unannounced. I would be looking forward to a 4-day weekend without remembering the occasion until the HR department placed a chocolate egg on my desk... but that was Before Children.

Nowadays Easter means school holidays, treasure hunts and sugar highs.  This year, I'm seriously considering making my own chocolate bunnies and eggs, but with sugar-free chocolate. Ditto for Hot Cross Buns.

The chocolate bunny recipe, incidentally, is so easy even the kids can make it. I love kid-friendly recipes! But I'm stuck on ideas for a good egg hunt. Anybody?

Easter with kids

Easter is for children. While Christmas may be about family and/or about religion, Easter is just a long weekend unless you have kids. I mean, when you grow up and do the maths, you forgo Easter Eggs in favour of straight-forward chocolate, anyway...

... until your toddler learns about the Easter Bunny.

This year's Easter Egg prices are particularly shocking compared to a year ago (and compared to a slab of identical chocolate, just flat instead of hollow) - or is it just that the current economic climate is making them look that way? Will 2009 go down in history as the year in which Easter Eggs as a luxury?

Personally, I'm considering melting a packet of chocolate bits or a big chocolate bar and re-shaping it into a home-made egg. Placed in an Easter Basket, it's sure to be as good as the real thing. I hope.

Speaking of Easter crafts, here is a great idea for home-made Easter Bunny Ears. Much better than the cheap plastic ones from the shop! And hey, if you use marshmallows instead of the pink-and-while pom-poms, your kids will love you forever.

Family traditions are vital for your children's development and they help raise happy kids. Our household, for example, is into painting chicken eggs for Easter, a European custom I picked up in my own childhood. What Easter traditions does your family have?

WARNING: kids squabbling

What went wrong? I keep asking myself that question every time I hear my older one yell at her brother or see the brother going out of his way to annoy the living daylights out of the older one.

They used to be so cute together. My daughter couldn't wait to be a big sister. She loved holding the baby, helped bottle-feed and change the nappies, played with him for hours. She shared all her toys and all her friends. She was the one to show him the ropes at the day care centre. 

So what's changed? Is it that she's a school girl now? Is it that she's a girl and he's a - yuck! - boy? Is is just a phase?

According to Sarah's Say Today (it's a great column, well worth subscribing to), it's normal and even desirable. Sibling squabbles are the training ground for life, it's where you sort out unfairness and learn about combat if not compromise.

But when is too much too much? When should I get involved? Find out what experts say. And if you feel you should get involved, here's how.

Please share your own sibling rivalry stories. It will make me feel better.

Let's talk Birthday Cakes

Birthday Cakes - not, not the "healthy alternative" as described in the previous post about the Snack Swapper - but the real scrumptious chocolaty sugary gooey Birthday Cake deal.

With my debut kiddy birthday party, I took the easy road: plain brown birthday cake with Happy Birthday written on it, plus one plain birthday candle. I figured, what the heck, she won't know the difference. Ok, perhaps she didn't, but since then I got caught up in making sure the kids' birthday cakes are artistic masterpieces. 

I'm not into the whole craze of candles that look like pirate ships, cakes that look like pirate ships (WARNING: mums, do not attempt it at home!) and party rooms that look like pirate ships.

Some easy recipes to try:

• pirate face birthday cake
  
• spaceship birthday cake
• ice cream cake cones

A home-made sausage roll, anyone?

Snacks and Healthy Alternatives for Kids

Let's talk about snacks and meals for children. Or, rather, healthy alternatives for commonplace kids' snacks and healthy alternatives for kid-friendly dinners.

Hands up in whose freezer / fridge I can find:

• chicken nuggets
• fish fingers
• chocolate milk (or pink milk for "Charlie and Lola" fans)
• frozen potato chips?

Hands down (mine included, which is a relief, because I had to type with my toes).

Fear not, though, help is at hand. I found this amazing tool, called a Snack Swapper. Check it out for healthy alternatives to pizza, lollies, ice cream, potato crisps and yes, chicken nuggets and pink milk too.

Most of the alternatives you can even cook with your children (double the Brownie points for being Super Mum). And here is a recipe for home-made chicken nuggets just for fun.

School Science is like a Box of Chocolates

School science is like a box of chocolates: tricky to get into, but a lot of fun when you finally crack it open. 

So if you belong to the growing club of Parents Against Science Homework (PASH), if you panic at the thought of water molecules and red-ox reactions (reduction-oxidation reactions), here are your life-savers:

• Can you hammer in a nail using a banana? (Sure you can. If you freeze the banana)
• Magic Milk
• The Egg Float experiment
• Make a kite that can fly
• Blue Goo

If that doesn't help, take heart. School children in France already have a website where, for a few Euro, they can purchase read-made maths homework. Sooner or later, somebody will spot the niche for science, too. ;-)

Sex during Pregnancy

Are pregnant women sexy? I asked this question during my first pregnancy and all my male friends had to comment, under threat of bodily harm inflicted by a hormonal female. Here are some quotes:

·        “Some men like blondes and some like pregnant chicks. Statistically speaking, I think more men find pregnant woman sexy than not, kind of like more men prefer larger breasts.”

·        “It depends... but it would be unwise to say ‘it depends’ to your pregnant partner.”

·        “Definitely! Pregnancy makes a woman beautiful.” Ok, this one sounds like smooth talk, but it’s true. Pregnancy hormones make your skin glow, your hair is more lustrous and bushy, your nails look healthier. Scientific research also claims that a pregnant woman releases pheromones that attract men.

The prize goes to my husband, though. He said (while ducking fast-flying objects during one of my more unreasonable pregnant moments): “WE FIND THEM EXTREMELY SEXY AND DESIRE MORE SEX WITH THEM, OR AT LEAST I DO. Now please put down the fish slice.”

Anyway. No matter how much you fight it, no matter how you try to prove the textbooks wrong, the fact remains: when you fall pregnant, your relationship will change. And so will the sex....

Trimester 1

Leave me alone, I want to sleep.

Trimester 2

In the second trimester, you make up for the first trimester by... not wanting to sleep. You feel more energetic, more confident and more physiologically ready for sex (as in, more lubricated and more flexible).

Trimester 3 

In a normal pregnancy, most sexual activities are perfectly safe for you and your baby. However, as your bump grows bigger, some positions will become uncomfortable. In fact, the ones that work best may be the very positions you’re practicing for giving birth (squatting, all fours, etc).

Read more about pregnancy and sex, as well as about stages of pregnancy.

Birthday gifts for children

I've just surfaced from a string of birthday parties ranging from 4 to 7 years (including my own kids) and here are a few lessons I've learnt:

• cheap plastic toys, no matter how flash looking, do not make good presents
• the latest craze toys do not make good presents (the birthday boy is left holding 4 identical transformers and 3 robotic Darth Vaders)
• age guidelines for "craft projects in the box" have to be taken with a large pinch of salt.

So what's a good birthday present for a child who's simultaneously receiving 20 other birthday presents bought, like yours, the day before? I've come up with:

• books (with exchange cards)
• comics (the old favourites like Asterix and Tintin)
• makeup and jewellery for girls (if the parents are ok with it) - a girl can never have too much makeup or jewellery
• things to take apart for boys (an ordinary toaster will do)
• high quality felt-tips, paints and paper
• and then I cheated and looked up more gifts.

I'm a bit rusty on presents for babies, and I need to come up with one by next week. Ideas, anybody? Preferably something that hasn't been posted online? I can google too!

Pregnancy and Weight Gain

Did you know? Most women who are scared of falling pregnant don't fear the responsibility of motherhood or the pain of delivery nearly as much as they fear... putting on weight.

Clearly, those are women who've never been in a close proximity to a screaming baby, a tantrum-throwing toddler or a 13-year old with a tongue stud and a packet of condoms. But I digress.

It is normal and desirable to put on weight during pregnancy. Your baby, the placenta, you name it. If you try to diet when pregnant, you will only risk your own health and the development of your baby. 

How much pregnancy weight gain is ok? How much is too much or too little? 

The literature suggests 8kg - 20kg, which seems hopelessly too vague. The best tool I found for the job is Kidspot's Pregnancy Weight Gain Calculator. It takes into account your height and pre-pregnancy weight, and it calculates your safe range of pregnancy weight gain for you. Try it.

And just as a reminder, avoid these foodstuffs when pregnant... in favour of these healthy ideas.

Household Tips for Busy Mums

Household Tip 1: Messy clothes drawers?

• You won't believe it until you try it, but if you roll up your kids' t-shirts and pants instead of folding them, you will be able to fit more clothes into the same space. They will be more visible too, making it easier to choose outfits in the morning.

Household Tip 2: Pot or lasagna dish with food burnt into it? 

• No problem. Sprinkle a teaspoon of your dishwashing powder onto it, pour a little hot water, leave to soak for an hour. The dirt will lift away easily.

Household Tip 3: Get organised 

• Have a folder with every child's school information:  other parents' phone numbers, sports timetables, class topics for the term, etc.
• Have another folder with the menus of all the local take-away shops that deliver.
• Dedicate a large plastic box (with a lid) for all the bits of toys that you can't readily identify: a tiny pink dress (Barbie or Bratz?), a small key, half a magnet, a plastic something that could belong to a board game... or not.

Household Tip 4: Food 

• The best tip I've heard for avoiding those dinner battles: If you don't like what the rest of us are eating, you can have breakfast cereal with milk and some fruit. 
• Some children will eat food they normally reject if you present it nicely (small shapes, faces, with dip, on tons of small separate places, on the picnic blanket).
• Tips for packed lunches.
• Top tips for fussy eaters.

Bonus Tip: why it's important to veg out.

Please share your own household tips, either by commenting on this post or on the Kidspot Social Forum.

Kid-friendly and Mum-friendly movies

Peter Pan is a regular guest in our household (not so long ago he had a dedicated chair at the dinner table), so I really looked forward to the movie "Tinkerbell". We finally watched it the other night and...

... it was ok, in an ok sort of way. The kids liked it, but didn't rave about it. I managed to sit through it, wishing I was watching "Nimm's Island" or "Madagascar". Not that "Nimm's Island" or "Madagascar" were particularly brilliant, but they were aimed at adults as well.

I'm told "Bolt" is good - my husband was lucky enough to get that one. My turn came with "Hotel for Dogs", which is great for 5-year olds - only.

So what's wicked today? Check out the latest movies for kids. And kids' DVDs. And movies for mums and dads.

Tell us what you've been watching.

Money, money, money - it's not funny

Money, money, money. It's always about money nowadays. 2009 is the year of:

1. saving money, 
   
2. wishing you had more money, 
   
3. blowing money on "70%-off!!!" sales.
   

I do a lot of 2 and 3, but not enough of 1. 

I may have a degree in mathematics, but budgeting is still a foreign word to me. I honestly don't know how other people do it. I only have two modes: "buy what I want" and "agonise over every purchase, wonder whether we can make do without paper towels this month, put bottled water back on the shelf (tap is ok for me), plan popcorn for dinner 3 times a week"... you get the idea.

This week's resolution is to become smarter about my family's spending, so I'm reading:

• Family Budget
• Managing the credit card
• Using a financial counsellor

so that I don't have to read How To Deal With Debt.

So far, my favourite tips include making my own cleaning products with vinegar&soda and replacing small toys with daily walks in the kids' "treats" bag.

Please leave comments with your own tips.

What Birth Order means for Your Child

• “A first born son usually feels a greater connection with his mother and at times may clash with his father. In any situation of family conflict, he looks to be his mother's protector.”
• “Mentally focused and physically strong, the first born girl presents a powerful physical presence. She gathers and preserves the family, sometimes overpowering others with her confidence and driving sense of responsibility.”

Does that sound familiar? The text comes from an online tool, Kidspot’s Birth Order Index. I don’t know about your family, but it’s scarily accurate in mine. Have a look (you don’t need to type in full names, an initial will do if privacy’s an issue) - it’s heaps of fun. Don’t only do your own children - also check out the households you and your partner grew up in!

The Rayid Model™ has been used around the world since 1970s. It gives insights into personality and relationship patterns, and the influence of family-tree dynamics on our children’s development and well-being.

 

 

Maths - Just A Memory Game?

How are your children being taught the fundamentals of Maths? Do you know? Or is it all a bit of mystery, a secret carefully guarded by the teachers? 

At my school - and it is a fabulous school in almost every respect - we don’t have textbooks for our 5-9 year olds and maths workbooks remain in class (there is no maths homework), so I actually have no clue whether they are learning addition or fractions. 

When I ask my daughter what they did in Maths today, I inevitably hear:

• “Um... nothing?”
• “I can’t remember.”
• “What’s for afternoon tea?”
• “Well, Jessica said that I could borrow her pencil but then Katie, that’s Katie S not Katie M, said hers was better than Jessica’s, so we spent the rest of the lesson comparing the pencils...” (!!!!!!!!!!!)
• “We did these squares. You write a number on top. Then you skip a line. Then there are some other numbers already filled in, and then you fill in some other numbers, but I don’t know how.” (?????????)

 

When I ask the teacher how I can support her in teaching maths to my child, I hear:

• “She’s doing well. You have nothing to worry about.”

And when I insist:

• “Play board games and card games with her. Make maths fun. Make sure she really knows the answers without having to work them out.”

 

That really bothers me. Why should a child memorise answers to sums? Maths is all about comprehension. What’s the point of being able to recite like a parrot that 15+15=30 and 15+16=31 and 15+17=32? I would prefer my daughter to be able to work out 15+16 in three different ways, taking her sweet time to arrive at the answer. 

What do you think? 

PS: Some great links for this discussion:

• Math Flash Card Builder
• Check out what other parents say about Math
• Your child’s learning style (my daughter is highly visual and the auditory way of learning maths at school doesn’t suit her natural ability)

Breakfast woes

“Oh no! Not oatmeal AGAIN! That’s what I had yesterday. No way am I eating it.”

Does that sound familiar? For your information, in our household, that’s actually me talking. Me, a responsible mother of two youngsters, one of whom is like his Dad, happy to eat the same cereal every day of his life, while the other is like her Mum.

(I’ll never forget that line from City Slickers: “Every day, for the rest of your life, the same cereal”... except they were talking about marriage. It stuck. But I digress.)

I like oatmeal. Just not two mornings in the row. The same is true of any other food. As a teenager, I spent two weeks in a holiday resort with my parents, and towards the end I refused to come down for breakfast where I would be offered a choice of boiled, fried or scrambled. Eggs every morning for 14 consecutive days would make a perfect diet for me: a weight-loss diet, you understand.

My daughter shares her mother’s little quirk, and it drives her father crazy. You see, he cannot understand the point of asking: “What would you like for breakfast today, honey?” His own heartfelt answer is: “Whatever I had yesterday.” 

Because he is the one making the kids’ breakfast every morning, the topic of breakfast menus is fraught with danger in our family. Meanwhile, I’m running out of breakfast foods, fast. So far, we had a week of Gorilla Munch, scrambled eggs with tomato sauce, buttered toast, lemon meringue yoghurt, cornflakes. Tomorrow, she’s having cottage cheese with honey. But unless you leave a few ideas in the comments, it will be an empty plate for her the day after.

Ok, things are looking up. My trusted friend, Dr Google, has given me a link to Fussy Eaters, as well as to Breakfast Basics, where I found this lovely tip: “Go the savoury route. Anything can be breakfast - last night's leftover pasta, a toasted bagel with baked beans, toast with roast chicken on top. Don't get locked into offering only cereal, eggs or toast.” Woo-hoo! Sushi for breakfast, anybody?

The latter article has fine ideas for kids’ breakfasts on the run, too - perfect for those of us who are too busy choosing a school outfit and brushing our hair to have a breakfast stop.

I’ve also found a super-easy omelette recipe - yes, I know omelette is just egg by another name, but it does smell sweeter, particularly a fruit-based omelette. There are also corn fritters (I never realised you could make those for breakfast) and purple pancakes (yes, with blueberries). All of those are kid-friendly and older children can have a go at cooking their own.

So that’s the children’s breakfast sorted then. I wonder what I’ll be having tomorrow, though, because there is only enough cheesecake available for one.

“Oh no! Not oatmeal AGAIN....”

What educational computer games can you recommend?

Commercial computer games

My 6-year old daughter loves “Aladdin’s Maths Quest” (Disney). It features visual-spatial puzzles, basic addition, and problem solving such as: if I have 8 crystals, and half of them are green, and two are white, and the rest are red.... A year ago, she refused to do the problem unless I changed the crystals into lollies, because that’s what she could relate to.

My 4-year old son prefers Bob the Builder games of the “fix the leaky pipe” sort: diagnose the fault, find the right tool and the right parts, fiddle with all the bits. You know, boy stuff.

They both love “Learn the Language” games from New Concepts (the games are aimed at adults, but my kids love them, and their Polish vocabulary is impressive as the result).

Free online games

My friends swear by the following for 7+ year olds:

• http://www.sciencemuseum.org.uk/onlinestuff/games.aspx (general science)
• http://www.kidspot.com.au/SpellingGames/wordscrambler-index-kidspot.asp (spelling)
• http://www.coolmath4kids.com/ (maths)
• http://www.sheppardsoftware.com/Geography.htm (geography of the world)
• http://ababasoft.com/kids/index_logic.html (logic games)

What are some of your favourites?

Please leave a comment on this blog to tell us what your children enjoy playing on the computer.

 

Kids and the Internet

Of course, we could go into the debate of whether it’s better to kick a soccer ball around or to click the mouse, how much screen time is too much, and so on. We won’t. Some basic things to keep in mind, though:

• Teach your kids to be Internet-savvy
• Read articles about Internet safety for kids
• Assess how safe your child is on the Internet
• Consider using the Net Nanny
• Don't wrap them in cotton wool: they have to brave the cyber jungle, sooner or later....

Mum, I'm not enjoying my holiday!

She's not enjoying her holiday. That's what came out of the mouth of my 6-year old after 5 weeks of:

• Christmas preparations and Christmas festivities
• Zoo
• Play dates with friends
• 1 movie outing with the whole family 
• 1 movie outing with "justMum"
• a 3-day trip to an island full of lovely swimming beaches
• 15 trips to the school pool
• movie nights at home
• art projects
• museum
• strawberry picking
• cooking lessons
• trips to the playground
• shopping for clothes
• fighting with her brother (sibling rivalry?)
• ....
• ....

Is she over-stimulated? 

Are summer holidays too long?

Is she manipulating me to get her way?

(Please leave a comment to let me know what you think. Honestly!)

Perhaps she's inherently an unhappy child? Googling the topic (and failing to resolve the problem), I did manage to find this fascinating article about why today's children are unhappy. It provides superb insights into how parents who try too hard create even more problems for their children.

By the way, if you have the opposite problem, if you think you're doing too little, take heart knowing other mums also have bored children....

Cooking with kids

Do you enjoy cooking with your children? If not, I know how to change that: offer to tutor a 3-hour long holiday programme lesson for 10-15 children, most of them not your own.

You will discover what a superb mum you are, because:
Your children are the only ones who know the basic safety rules around the kitchen.
Your 6-year old knows what ingredients go into soup.
When you ask how to make muffins, your child does not pipe up: “Open the packet, add water”....

Also, after three hours of helping 10-15 pairs of little hands crack eggs, mix honey with peanut butter and knead the yeast dough that “smells yucky!”, after scheduling 5 food-related physical activity games to break up the monotony of the actual cooking, after jumping in and out of the pretend fruit smoothie going whirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr about a hundred times... after all that, you will definitely appreciate making the rainbow cake in your own kitchen with your own kids.

The rainbow cake is the easiest thing in the world to make. Take an equal weight of butter, sugar and flour (e.g., 200g), add 1 small egg per every 100g, add vanilla essence and a teaspoon of baking powder. Split the dough into as many bowls as you have food colouring, put a few drops of colour into each bowl, then slap the colourful dough into the pre-greased baking tray. Bake as you would a normal cake.

Looking for more recipes? Try the Kidspot Recipe Finder. That’s what I use!

Did you know that children cook according to their learning styles? Read about your child's cooking style.

Guess what my mother in law said...

Mothers in law (MIL): the good, the bad and the ugly (figuratively speaking, that is... or not). Sometimes they can be helpful. Sometimes they have too many opinions. Sometimes they are still number one, with you a distant second.

I’ve trawled the Internet for some good MIL jokes, and all I found were bad ones. Still, I couldn’t resist quoting a few, heavily censored, that is.

New story line for some of our favourite TV shows:

• Survivor: Stay at home and vote to keep the MILs on the island forever.
• MIL Hunter: Go Down Under and watch as one man gets close to nature and risks getting his head bitten off by one of mankind's oldest and fiercest enemies.
• Family Law: In this episode, a woman fights to divorce her MIL while remaining married to her husband.
• Unsolved Mysteries - Missing MILs: MILs are disappearing all over the city... and no one is looking for them!
  

(Speaking of TV, have you ever wondered how to make smart TV choices for kids? Have a look at these tips for kids and TV watching.)

My own mother in law is all right... I mean, she must be. My husband always tells me I’m just like her.... But seriously, she and I like the same books and the same actors, we have similar values and life philosophies. Still, from time to time she manages to say something to remind me of the power battle between us.

My favourite has to be the time she asked me when I would get a real job... because a mother of two preschoolers who works from home doing stuff she loves can’t possibly be doing a real job, right? Fortunately my husband piped up in my defence: “She does have a real job: she earns more than I do!”

Do you have a story about your MIL? Like, this uncontrollable desire you get to lock yourself in a room or closet every time she visits? Come share it on Kidspot Social.

Oh, and if you ever feel like selling your mother in law, Kidspot Market is the place other mums go to look for goodies, LOL.