Teaching your kids manners

How on earth do you teach your children manners in this day and age? I don't mean "please" and "thank you". Even "sorry" we have sussed.... well, sort of, taking into account that children aren't able to feel empathy until they're about 8 years old.

What I mean, though, goes beyond the three magical phrases that get you out of trouble and into the cookie jar. 

• I mean the ability to sit at the table through a meal and not spill your juice... on purpose. (Also see Teaching Kids Table Manners.)
  
• I mean not yelling at the kid brother who isn't doing our bidding.
• And, ok, I also mean the politically incorrect offering your bus seat, holding the door open and remembering that hitting girls is a no-no.

In a society where most teenagers think "courtesy" comes with "car" and means a free set of wheels (and who think the f-word is punctuation), how do you instill a set of old-fashioned values in your children?

My 6-year old used the f-word the other day. She had no clue what it meant and she clearly used the good old trick of swearing in order to get a reaction. But still, how do I get from here to 10 years from now when she'll be able to have a polite conversation at the dinner table?

I don't have the answers. Ok, I have one, but I don't like it, and I bet you won't think much of it, either. It's something to do with practicing consideration and good manners at home (though apparently it's ok to have 2 sets of table rules, one for home and one for going out) ...

... and modelling the desired behaviour yourself.

No more interrupting my husband, then. No more talking with my mouth full. No slouching and no elbows on the table. Oh, the sacrifices we make for our kids!

Chocolate Bunnies and Hot Cross Buns

Do miracles happen? You bet! The children are asleep, the kitchen's tidy and my brain can - for a change! - plan more than one day in advance. So what am I planning? Why, the Easter weekend, of course, which is why this is the second blog in a row about Easter. 

I remember the time when Easter would creep up on me unannounced. I would be looking forward to a 4-day weekend without remembering the occasion until the HR department placed a chocolate egg on my desk... but that was Before Children.

Nowadays Easter means school holidays, treasure hunts and sugar highs.  This year, I'm seriously considering making my own chocolate bunnies and eggs, but with sugar-free chocolate. Ditto for Hot Cross Buns.

The chocolate bunny recipe, incidentally, is so easy even the kids can make it. I love kid-friendly recipes! But I'm stuck on ideas for a good egg hunt. Anybody?

Easter with kids

Easter is for children. While Christmas may be about family and/or about religion, Easter is just a long weekend unless you have kids. I mean, when you grow up and do the maths, you forgo Easter Eggs in favour of straight-forward chocolate, anyway...

... until your toddler learns about the Easter Bunny.

This year's Easter Egg prices are particularly shocking compared to a year ago (and compared to a slab of identical chocolate, just flat instead of hollow) - or is it just that the current economic climate is making them look that way? Will 2009 go down in history as the year in which Easter Eggs as a luxury?

Personally, I'm considering melting a packet of chocolate bits or a big chocolate bar and re-shaping it into a home-made egg. Placed in an Easter Basket, it's sure to be as good as the real thing. I hope.

Speaking of Easter crafts, here is a great idea for home-made Easter Bunny Ears. Much better than the cheap plastic ones from the shop! And hey, if you use marshmallows instead of the pink-and-while pom-poms, your kids will love you forever.

Family traditions are vital for your children's development and they help raise happy kids. Our household, for example, is into painting chicken eggs for Easter, a European custom I picked up in my own childhood. What Easter traditions does your family have?

WARNING: kids squabbling

What went wrong? I keep asking myself that question every time I hear my older one yell at her brother or see the brother going out of his way to annoy the living daylights out of the older one.

They used to be so cute together. My daughter couldn't wait to be a big sister. She loved holding the baby, helped bottle-feed and change the nappies, played with him for hours. She shared all her toys and all her friends. She was the one to show him the ropes at the day care centre. 

So what's changed? Is it that she's a school girl now? Is it that she's a girl and he's a - yuck! - boy? Is is just a phase?

According to Sarah's Say Today (it's a great column, well worth subscribing to), it's normal and even desirable. Sibling squabbles are the training ground for life, it's where you sort out unfairness and learn about combat if not compromise.

But when is too much too much? When should I get involved? Find out what experts say. And if you feel you should get involved, here's how.

Please share your own sibling rivalry stories. It will make me feel better.

Let's talk Birthday Cakes

Birthday Cakes - not, not the "healthy alternative" as described in the previous post about the Snack Swapper - but the real scrumptious chocolaty sugary gooey Birthday Cake deal.

With my debut kiddy birthday party, I took the easy road: plain brown birthday cake with Happy Birthday written on it, plus one plain birthday candle. I figured, what the heck, she won't know the difference. Ok, perhaps she didn't, but since then I got caught up in making sure the kids' birthday cakes are artistic masterpieces. 

I'm not into the whole craze of candles that look like pirate ships, cakes that look like pirate ships (WARNING: mums, do not attempt it at home!) and party rooms that look like pirate ships.

Some easy recipes to try:

• pirate face birthday cake
  
• spaceship birthday cake
• ice cream cake cones

A home-made sausage roll, anyone?

Snacks and Healthy Alternatives for Kids

Let's talk about snacks and meals for children. Or, rather, healthy alternatives for commonplace kids' snacks and healthy alternatives for kid-friendly dinners.

Hands up in whose freezer / fridge I can find:

• chicken nuggets
• fish fingers
• chocolate milk (or pink milk for "Charlie and Lola" fans)
• frozen potato chips?

Hands down (mine included, which is a relief, because I had to type with my toes).

Fear not, though, help is at hand. I found this amazing tool, called a Snack Swapper. Check it out for healthy alternatives to pizza, lollies, ice cream, potato crisps and yes, chicken nuggets and pink milk too.

Most of the alternatives you can even cook with your children (double the Brownie points for being Super Mum). And here is a recipe for home-made chicken nuggets just for fun.

School Science is like a Box of Chocolates

School science is like a box of chocolates: tricky to get into, but a lot of fun when you finally crack it open. 

So if you belong to the growing club of Parents Against Science Homework (PASH), if you panic at the thought of water molecules and red-ox reactions (reduction-oxidation reactions), here are your life-savers:

• Can you hammer in a nail using a banana? (Sure you can. If you freeze the banana)
• Magic Milk
• The Egg Float experiment
• Make a kite that can fly
• Blue Goo

If that doesn't help, take heart. School children in France already have a website where, for a few Euro, they can purchase read-made maths homework. Sooner or later, somebody will spot the niche for science, too. ;-)

Sex during Pregnancy

Are pregnant women sexy? I asked this question during my first pregnancy and all my male friends had to comment, under threat of bodily harm inflicted by a hormonal female. Here are some quotes:

·        “Some men like blondes and some like pregnant chicks. Statistically speaking, I think more men find pregnant woman sexy than not, kind of like more men prefer larger breasts.”

·        “It depends... but it would be unwise to say ‘it depends’ to your pregnant partner.”

·        “Definitely! Pregnancy makes a woman beautiful.” Ok, this one sounds like smooth talk, but it’s true. Pregnancy hormones make your skin glow, your hair is more lustrous and bushy, your nails look healthier. Scientific research also claims that a pregnant woman releases pheromones that attract men.

The prize goes to my husband, though. He said (while ducking fast-flying objects during one of my more unreasonable pregnant moments): “WE FIND THEM EXTREMELY SEXY AND DESIRE MORE SEX WITH THEM, OR AT LEAST I DO. Now please put down the fish slice.”

Anyway. No matter how much you fight it, no matter how you try to prove the textbooks wrong, the fact remains: when you fall pregnant, your relationship will change. And so will the sex....

Trimester 1

Leave me alone, I want to sleep.

Trimester 2

In the second trimester, you make up for the first trimester by... not wanting to sleep. You feel more energetic, more confident and more physiologically ready for sex (as in, more lubricated and more flexible).

Trimester 3 

In a normal pregnancy, most sexual activities are perfectly safe for you and your baby. However, as your bump grows bigger, some positions will become uncomfortable. In fact, the ones that work best may be the very positions you’re practicing for giving birth (squatting, all fours, etc).

Read more about pregnancy and sex, as well as about stages of pregnancy.

Birthday gifts for children

I've just surfaced from a string of birthday parties ranging from 4 to 7 years (including my own kids) and here are a few lessons I've learnt:

• cheap plastic toys, no matter how flash looking, do not make good presents
• the latest craze toys do not make good presents (the birthday boy is left holding 4 identical transformers and 3 robotic Darth Vaders)
• age guidelines for "craft projects in the box" have to be taken with a large pinch of salt.

So what's a good birthday present for a child who's simultaneously receiving 20 other birthday presents bought, like yours, the day before? I've come up with:

• books (with exchange cards)
• comics (the old favourites like Asterix and Tintin)
• makeup and jewellery for girls (if the parents are ok with it) - a girl can never have too much makeup or jewellery
• things to take apart for boys (an ordinary toaster will do)
• high quality felt-tips, paints and paper
• and then I cheated and looked up more gifts.

I'm a bit rusty on presents for babies, and I need to come up with one by next week. Ideas, anybody? Preferably something that hasn't been posted online? I can google too!