Remember your MIL on Mother's Day

If you feel like cancelling Mother's Day because you have to invite your MIL (mother in law) for a celebratory lunch, here are 5 reasons to feel grateful to her:

• She is your partner's mother...
  

... What? Er, I mean, pardon? He's been driving you up the wall lately? Then you and his mother probably have something in common: putting up with his annoying habits.

• Your children have 25% of her DNA...

... Best to move on, at this point. Quickly.

• She is there when you need her. Sometimes too little, sometimes too much, but ultimately you can rely on her to help.
• To your kids, she is Nana or Grammy or Gran, and very much part of the family. Her existence provides the security net for them. They love her and she loves them, even if she's still learning to love you.
• OK, I'm sure there were 5 reasons. Honestly. Or maybe even 10 or 100. Feel free to provide your own one in the comments box below. 

And if you're thinking of buying a gift for your mother in law, have a look at the hilarious descriptions in Best Mother's Day Gifts For Your MIL.

Best Gifts For Mother's Day

Best Gifts For Mother's Day is not the most original topic for this time of the year. Ok, so slap me in the face with a wet fish, but I can't just pretend the occasion is happening.  (To see why, have a look at these hilarious reasons.)

Come Sunday morning, all the cafes will be booked out despite the recession, and mothers in countries as diverse as Australia, Malaysia and Denmark, will get wet kisses and burnt toast in bed.

And yes, we love both the wet kisses and the burnt toast, but what other great ideas can we dream up for Mother's Day? How about:

• me- time in bubble bath with a glass of bubbly
• your favourite perfume 
• a silk scarf
• books (how about "Not Becoming My Mother" by Ruth Reichl, LOL)
• DVDs
• a mug of hot chocolate in the afternoon
• oh, and forget store-bought chocolates - how about some creamy chocolate fudge made by the family (the mixture gets hot, so Dad needs to supervise).

And of course, Mother's Day wouldn't be complete without hand-made cards!

(For those of us who love lists and facts, the full list of countries celebrating Mother's Day on the 2nd Sunday in May is: United States, Anguilla, Aruba, Australia, Austria, Bahamas, Barbados,Bangladesh, Belgium, Belize, Bermuda, Bonaire, Brazil, Canada, Chile, China, Colombia, Cuba, Croatia, Curacao, Czech Republic, Denmark, Ecuador, Estonia, Finland, Germany, Greece, Grenada, Honduras, Hong Kong, Iceland, Italy, Jamaica, Japan, Latvia, Malta, Malaysia, the Netherlands, New Zealand, Peru, Philippines, Puerto Rico, Singapore, Slovakia, South Africa, Suriname, Switzerland, Taiwan, Trinidad and Tobago, Turkey, United States, Uruguay, Venezuela, Zimbabwe.)

499 money-saving tips

I love saving money almost as much I love spending it! What about you? If you want to read all money-saving 499 tips in one go, here is the link: 499 ways to save money.

But here are a few of my very favourite:

• Shop once a month for main grocery items (with a shopping list), this way the temptation for things you neither want or need is cut down. (Plus, you save time and petrol.)
  
• I always pack a bottle of water or drinks in drink bottles for kids. I refuse to pay $3 for a drink when you can get it for free. 
  
• Always ask for a discount on big purchases e.g.: TVs, microwaves, etc. Never pay the ticketed price on these items! Even some clothing stores can give discounts! The worse they can do is say no.
  
• Cook at home. (Click here for many great kid-friendly recipes.)
  
• Join the local toy library (and the local book library).
  
• Shop (and sell) at Kidspot Online Market. A great way to pick up bargains and to make a bit of cash on items you no longer want.

Car seats for older kids

(If you're a first-time parent, please have a look how to fit a car seat for your baby.)

Many of my 6-year old's school mates ride without car seats, but, even though she's tall for her age, we are reluctant to say goodbye to her sturdy full-size booster seat. She says it makes her look like a baby. We say it makes her safe.

Looking at a guide to car seats, I realise she may have a point. Most booster seats and booster cushions have a weight limit of 26kg, so she will outgrow them soon. And yet she's not tall enough to wear the sash seat belt (without a booster cushion, the sash goes right over her neck, and I can just imagine what would happen if I had to break suddenly). Fortunately, our own booster cushion takes kids up to 30kg....

Aha! Guess what I found in this article about car safety for children: 

A five-point child safety harness is recommended for children 14 – 32kg as standard car seat belts (which are designed for adult use) are safe to use until your child is a standing height of 148cm, a sitting height of 74cm and/or a weight of 37kg – this is the approximate size of an 11 year old.

Makes you think, doesn't it? 

Mum, I don't know what to wear!

Picture this: a rushed school morning, the first serious chill in the air, a 6-year old's wardrobe spilling over with clothes and her whinging voice yelling at me from the other end of the house: "Mum, I don't know what to wear!"

Ok, I know what I should have done. Gone over to her room, sat down to be level with her face and said tenderly yet firmly, "We don't yell in this house."

I didn't. Instead, I offered a choice of 4 skirts, 3 pantyhose, 3 pairs of socks, 4 long-sleeved tops and 2 jackets. Each item was greeted with, "No, Mum, I don't like it much. And I need long socks, because short socks make me look like a boy.... But not those long socks." 

Which, at least, is an improvement on last year's "I HATE THAT DRESS!!!!" 

Or was an improvement, until, after 20 minutes of fruitless negotiations and failure to meet halfway between fashion and keeping warm, I heard: "Mummy! You just don't love me!" From getting dressed to emotional blackmail in three easy steps. That had me at my computer in no time at all, surfing straight to:

• Social development of 6-9 year olds, 
• Tantrums in older kids, and
• Discipline dos and don'ts.

Another perfectly beautiful morning wasted fighting over something so trivial. 

Now, the 4-year old dresses without my help. True, he chucks the contents of his drawer onto the floor in order to find his favourite Thomas the Tank Engine T-shirt... the one with a brand-new hole... but once he's dressed, HE PUTS IT ALL BACK!!!

How could I have raised two such totally different children? Why did my soft-spined pandering work only 50%? Does my 6-year old need firmer borders or more love? Or simply a school with a school uniform, LOL?

Child-friendly Movies / Movies for Kids

(Ok, I admit it: too much TV is bad. Read about the pitfalls here and let’s get on with the story, deal? :-) )

In our household, we have a tradition: Friday night is movie-night. It’s when we... ok, ok, I admit it... it’s when we all eat in front of the TV. Friday night is when we climb down the stairs to the basement TV room, together with a picnic blanket, water supplies and four dinner plates. (What are the TV rules in your family?) 

When the kids were 2.5 and 4.5 years old, selecting a movie suitable for the whole family was rather tricky. The 2-year old wanted to watch Maisy. The 4-year old wanted My Little Pony. The two adults wanted anything except Maisy and My Little Pony. Over the years, the adults increased their list of exceptions by:

• Thomas the Tank Engine
• Barney (the Beetroot Blob)
• Dora
• Pooh Bear, the Disney version, including
• Lumpy.

In desperation, we turned to

• the Barbie movies (which can be watched once by a normal adult without hurting the TV... too much)
• the animated Flintstones
• The Jetsons
• Asterix
• but not Tintin (the 4-year old gobbled it up even though she didn’t understand it, but the 2-year old got bored and wandered off to watch Maisy), and
• (surprise!) The Princess Bride.

Of course, there were also the usual suspects:

• The Incredibles
• Monsters Inc
• Madagascar
• but not Finding Nemo, because of the upsetting beginning.

It’s easier now, two years later. The 2.5-year old is now 4.5. He cried during the volcano scene in Madagascar 2, not only when the hero got threatened, but also when the baddie fell in, but he can sit through Mamma Mia, Monsters vs Aliens and laugh his head off during The gods must be crazy.

Meanwhile, the 6-year old and I get to go on mother-daughter dates to see Confessions of a Shopaholic.

What kids’ movies can you recommend? We’re out of ideas for this Friday....

PS: I found a useful guide to movie ratings here.

Computers and Kids - New Facts

Kids and Computers is an old topic... or was an old topic until I read a certain research article about the implications of socialising on the Internet. It’s scary, so here’s the summary:

When you're a child, your online status depends on the number of friends you have on Bebo, MySpace andFacebook. It's a measure of popularity. At first glance, it seems innocuous. But is it?

First, there is the very real danger of letting your guard down because you “know this person from the Net”. (Image: Red Riding Hood meets Big Bad Wolf and he says: “Hi, I’m your friend on Facebook”....)

If you’re concerned at this point, read these handy online safety tips.

But wait, there’s more. Recent research suggests that our brains evolved to know no more than 150 people. That includes everybody! And yet most schools are twice the size, and we're not counting family friends or mates from swimming lessons. Add to that people your child will befriend online, and you can almost see their brain smoking....

Anyway, the article goes on to speculating about computers affecting the onset of puberty and emotional maturity and you can read it in full here.

So how much computer time is too much for our children? Here’s what the experts say. And if you reckon your child’s within the sane limits, here are the best websites for school children - just to keep them busy while you’re swallowing your Herbal Nerve Pills....